He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
