Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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