So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
