I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
