He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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