i always forget guys have bellybuttons
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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