Duck Duck Cougar?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
