I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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