No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize