Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize