Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
