I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
