someone get that fucking seahorse.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm bleeding and have questions
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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