i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
