I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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