You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
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and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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