I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
