Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize