Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize
