I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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