By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
