Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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