is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
