you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
