hotel room ftw
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
