This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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