i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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