THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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