if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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