I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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