if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
