Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
