i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
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If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
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Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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