similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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