You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
