***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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