I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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