also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize