Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
