im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
