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I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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