Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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