your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
