you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
How does it feel to date your dad?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
