I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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