I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
