I've blown a few things in my day
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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