i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
