Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
