um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
