Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
