There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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