Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
