I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
