just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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