Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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