If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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