i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
no you cant smoke seaweed
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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