Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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