I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
