I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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