I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Sorry about my life...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
