I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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